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| PARENT ARTICLES |
7 Ideas to keep Romance in your marriage
Flirting
"My husband and I have five children, so we never have much time to ourselves. To keep romance in our lives we send each other e-mail talking about our desires. It's easier to be intimate at night if the thoughts have been floating around in our minds during the day."
"We send short, sweet text messages to each other's cell phones. We compliment each other. We meet for lunch dates. We often let household chores go undone and try not to worry about it. We don't expect too much of each other and try not to get disappointed with one another. We've learned that these things are vital to keeping the marriage alive, not just the romance.
Shower Romance
"Our favorite thing to do is shower together. It's something we have to do anyway, so we do it together. Once our daughter's down for the night, we both hop into a steamy shower and talk about whatever's on our minds. Our troubles and fears go 'down the drain,' and it lets us slow down, relax, and enjoy each other."
"We're always exhausted (our 3-year-old isn't a great sleeper), and romance is often the last thing on our minds. Still, if we don't find some way to stay intimate we grow distant and start snapping at each other. So once or twice a week I wait up for him to get home and we jump in the shower together. We usually end up sharing some intimacy -- from shower sex to just talking and hugging. The important thing is to stay connected."
Home Dates
"Some of our most romantic evenings are spent cooking together once the baby is down. We choose an item from Gourmet magazine and then prepare it in the kitchen together (with a bottle of wine, of course). We usually listen to Al Green for the full experience. Once dinner is ready we sit down in the dining room, which is filled with candles, and catch up. It's a lovely way to spend the evening, and sometimes we even take an 'intermission' to make out! And then, of course, there's dessert."
"Our 1-year-old goes to sleep at 8 p.m., but only for two or three hours. While he's asleep, my husband and I lay out blankets in front of the fireplace. We turn out the lights, put on some romantic music, have a little wine or dessert, and spend time together by the fire."
Afternoon Delights
"We have secret 'afternoon delights' in my husband's home office when our youngest is napping and our oldest is otherwise occupied (but within earshot) in another room. It's a great release for both of us, and we feel so naughty."
"We have spontaneous sex anywhere in the house after the kids are asleep. It's a little naughty and risky, and it makes us feel like we're still teens."
Playing Hookie
"Sometimes my husband and I take a vacation day during the week and have a date while our daughter's at daycare. We have a leisurely lunch, then catch a movie. It's a treat for her to have both Mommy and Daddy pick her up, and we love having the evening together, refreshed after our 'couple time.' "
"My husband and I both work full-time, so we prefer to spend our free time with our child. Instead of hiring a babysitter at night or on the weekend, we leave work early and meet for a movie and dinner -- or at home for a rendezvous. What's great about these daytime dates is that we have enough energy to really enjoy each other."
Little Things Do Count
"Our secret is simple, and we only recently rediscovered it: Going to bed at the same time. It sounds trite, but for nearly six years, my husband stayed up late to catch some quiet time alone. It's hard to have much of a sex life -- or any kind of intimacy -- when one partner crawls into bed after the other's asleep. Going to bed at the same time facilitates 'pillow talk' and all that goes with it."
"After our second baby was born, I bought a journal shaped like a heart, wrote a love letter to my husband on the first page, then slipped it into his bedside drawer. When he found it, he replied with a poem on the next page and slipped it into my drawer. We've continued the tradition ever since. We don't write in the journal every day, but it's always a treat to open my drawer and see it there."
Lasting Thoughts
"We remind ourselves that in 18 years our daughter will leave us, but that we're forever. This helps us make decisions to invest in our marriage -- date nights at least twice a month, occasional weekends away, prolonged kisses at the door, spontaneous sex during afternoon naps, and loving conversations in front of our toddler (to show her how important we are to each other). My parents did the same, and it gave me a wonderful sense of peace to know that they loved each other so much."
"Remember, when the kids are grown they'll leave. Your spouse is the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, so he or she should be the most important person in your life. Kids are demanding, yes, but they can survive just fine with a trusted babysitter. We make it a point to go out every week without the kids (we have five). We have a limited budget, so sometimes it's just a fast-food drive-through, then sitting in a quiet spot eating our burgers -- but it is time spent together away from the stresses of home and office. This has worked for us for 24 years now."
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